I choose to…

For over 28 years I used to be a very shy and introvert kid/boy/man. I was like that because I had no choice. I regretted living like this, but the fear of talking or facing the world kept me from changing.

At some point during my 28´s, I hade a huge depression, and it shaked my reality. At the moment it felt like the worst thing to happen. But now I see it like the best.It was the only treatment strong enough for me to change the way I was.As soon as I started going out from where I fell, I told myself with great emotion “I WILL NEVER AGAIN LET FEAR STOP ME”. And so I started one by one facing my fears.

So then I became an outgoing person.. I used to go to parties, and dance all night, no mater what, every where. I used to talk to whomever I wanted (I kind of got addicted to the trill). I did rappel (with fear at first) with such enthusiasm, that people will follow me on the risks I took.

But then it striked me. I didn’t really felt better. That guy wasn’t me.

Now I am quiet again. Just as I was before.Except that now it is because I choose to be.

My reality may seem the same, but the psyche behind it makes a world of difference.

I love being who I am because I choose to be, not because I have no choice.

The fragile pride.

It is curious how when someone gives us an advice, especially if it implies that we have to change somehow, we tend to fight it. We either find moderate reasons why not to, or explain how it does not apply to us.

On the other hand, if we get the same advice from a written text book, magazine, website, audio cd, or even a video clip, we do not tend to fight back. It would be rather funny someone giving explanations back to a textbook. We don’t have to. Our pride has not been touch. Nobody knows we are reading an advice and changing because of it.

So I guess it is not really the source of the advice that bothers us, but the fragile pride we may have, and the need to defend it.

The world is full of experts.

Now days, everyone seems to be an expert. Everywhere, people will give you advices and explain you how to get things done the “right” way. Oddly, for most of them their way do not really works for them, or they do not really practice what they predicate.
 
Seems like society pushes us to be knowledgeable and have an opinion about everything.Is society really pushing us to have an opinion about everything? Or is it us, that we are somehow insecure and hide it behind complex words?

Too much free time.

The night was so boring.
Or is it me? Probably the later.

the fact is, it was one of these nights when there is plenty of time and energy available, but we do not seem to get anything started.

Wandering arround on the web, finally landed on this Blogger site. It hs been quite some time since I ever suscribed to online services, or tryed new technologies. I guess, for a while I was just tired of being the new adopter.

But I decided to give a try. Time will tell how it develops.